The Woman Within The Mirror
by KaitlynChantalHoward
Summary: The Scroll which once brought her happiness, melted away leaving something strange. The seduction which Juana La Loca fueled has suddenly stopped? Can Manuel start the fire again bring Lucía back?
1. Prologue

The Woman Within The Mirror

Prologue

One year, 356 days since that old house went up in flames killing two people I came to care about. I did realize not even now how close I came to bringing them into my life just as things began to feel normal again. The feeling though was taken from me, like a cosmic flash. Yet sitting here on this bench that Queen Juana must have sat on waiting for the birds to come and take her away watching my beautiful blonde little girl play. Pretending to play hoping that if she jumped enough her arms would take flight. Watching this I realized that that feeling I thought was taken from me after losing everything really never left me at all. The fact was with Juana my little angel I felt normal as if Manuel never passed on or anything.

I smiled seeing Juana's face looking at mine with such enjoyment which brought a joy I thought I could never feel again. Though within my own heart I was sad, sadness I never wanted to admit never wanted to acknowledge that I was torn up about Manuel's death, something I often tell her about to keep his memory alive for her. I see myself in her even though I was quite older than her when my parents passed well her grandparents went to heaven in the way she handles this. Every Sunday she begs for us attend mass which I have got to say I had not been to since the fire. Something just did not feel right stepping over the threshold of my old boarding school chapel and kneeling down within a pew. I kept my religion, I was still a devote catholic bringing a proper child up within the eyes of the church.

Now I see after having my own child how Juana must have felt bringing her children up. The love and spirit she gave to each of her children as well as her husband, Philippe. I see firsthand what Charles could never take from his mother Juana, the love for her children the same love I have for my little Juana.

At eighteen, I never felt so happy and yet so strangely sad that feeling I adhire to as I lead Juana into Manuel's old apartment. After the fire, I had a lot of time to think with only eight months within my pregnancy left when I arrived there. Isis was amazing she welcomed me with open arms and Juana. Within those months Isis helped me come to the conclusion that a part of me needed to keep this place. To remind myself that I was…that Manuel made me happy and I could not just let that go. I cannot even begin to say how much I love her for all of the wonderful things she did for me in those months even now as I gulp taking a deep breath looking around the room. Everything was as Manuel and I left it.

The red velvet dress, still lying upon the tan sofa was Manuel left it. I sighed walking into the kitchen emptying the refrigerator as Juana jumped upon that tan sofa grabbing the Televison remote off the coffee table turning it on. I never took notice to how tiny the living room actually was. The loft I purchased in Manhattan was larger than this. It wows me at all the things that happened within this tiny room. Hard to believe now I lost my virginity here to a man I, at the time, had no earthly clue what to do with nor the constant craving I had to rid myself of the issue at hand, my parents.

This is when I miss him; the moments I have to make myself want words to be enough. To watch Juana grow up being the little smarty that she already is, watching her now as she so patently watches Zoboomafoo. It saddens me to have to see all these precious times in her life not be seen with Manuel. In this moment I realized the thing I did not truly ever want to admit. I actually love Manuel. It's funny to me how for so long I denied any part of loving him and now I want nothing more than to love him. Is it wrong though…to love a dead man so passionately-so unconventionally?


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One

Manuel found her standing outside looking at the old tree which was dying. He gulped looking at his Aunt who has lyed to him his whole life, "Were you ever going to tell me?" Manuel asked holding the manuscripts within his arms, "Or just lie to me some more?" Águeda looked sadly upon her son whom yes she had lied to for so long and to herself as well. The smock was becoming unbearable as she sighed.

"Manuel what I did was not very fair to you or Aurora-," she sighed trying to make him understand it was a different time then, "But son I did it out of love for you and that child Lucía now cares!" Águeda exclaimed gulping watching Manuel shake his head.

Manuel closed his eyes for a moment then opened them to look at her, "Leave Lucía out of this do you hear me Águeda!" he spoke grabbing her hand leading her out the back way to the front, "We'll talk about this-,"

"No!" Águeda yelled snatching her arm away from his grasp, "I have lived long enough within all of these lies my boy-," she sighed kissing his sweet angry face, "You love her Manuelito it is time for you to come to terms with that!" smiling looking at him with sad eyes, "Love that child as I loved you!" Águeda spoke walking back into the house.

Manuel gulped watching her do with leaving him within questions he knew the answer too, "Águeda-," he yelled after her but with no reply, "Águeda-," calling again and still no reply, "Damn me!" Manuel spoke dropping the manuscripts running in after her finding her lying upon the floor, "Águeda-," Manuel called kneeling down trying to wake her up, "Mom!" he spoke as a tears poured down his face.

"She is only sleeping Manuelito-," Manuel jumped seeing the male figure before him, "Do not be alarmed for you know me!" Manuel gulped looking at the man strangely, "I believe you have something of mine,"

Manuel looked upon oddly on him again, "I am sorry sir but I have nothing of yours!" he spoke seeing the man's expression change, "If you're here for the manuscripts take them just let me take my mother and Lucia away!" he spoke bending down picking up Águeda.

"Ho their son not so fast-," The man spoke looking at Manuel and Águeda as parts of the ceiling and walls began to fall, "Lucía is what I want!"

Manuel was shock, "Lucía?" he gulped looking at the strange man, "What do you want with my Lucía?"

"Lucía -," The man chuckled smiling at Manuel devilishly; "She holds the line of Juana la loca within her blood!"

Manuel shook his head, "I am sorry sir but-," a cough took over his speech, "Lucía is a American there is no way she holds Juana's blood line within her veins I promise you!"

"You promise me-," The man spoke coming closer as the fire department alarms began to sound, "Damn!"

Manuel smiled, "Lucía -,"

"You are of no use to me-," He yelled removing a pistil from his left pocket, "Goodbye my son!" Manuel gulped as the gun fired landing in his shoulder trying to keep his balance. The man kneeled down beside Manuel's right ear and whispered, "Your precious Lucía -," he chuckled with a smiled, "Is mine!" laughing as he grabbing Águeda's legs dragging her out.

Manuel eyes went dark but could hear the fireman standing over him, "I have a body!" the fireman yelled to his partner.

"Is he alive?" The partner asked as the other shrugged; "I cannot tell his leg his stuck come give me a hand!" the partner spoke as the other firemen help him take one of the ceiling panels off Manuel's leg, "Let's get him into a bag!" The partner nodded placing in within a black body bag along with another body they found within what was left of the old home.

I gulped running over to the man with the body bags unzipping the bag covering my mouth, "Manuel-,"

"You know this man?" The police officer asked me but I was still in a state of shock, "Madame do you know this man?"

I nodded answering his questioned turning my head, "Yes sir-," shaking a deep breath continuing, "His name is Manuel,"

"Thank you!" The police man sighed walking away from me taking Manuel and Águeda from me. I gulped as my left hand granite to my stomach thinking of my child and what I must do now. About an hour later I set myself up within a hotel just when the bodies would be arriving at the local morgue, "So what is your prognosis?" the police officer asked the nurse.

The nurse sighed, "Well from his chart it seem as a gunshot wound and-," she screamed looking from the chart as the police looked at her.

"Where did the body go?" the police officer asked looking at the nurse, "Rebecca where did Manuel Denia go?"


	3. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

I sighed rubbing my forehead trying to finish my glass of red wine thinking of Juana and her final days. That is something I missed a lot was her manuscripts and hearing all of the good things she had within her story that kept you interested, "Mummy-Mummy!" Juana yelled running from my room with my phone, "Its aunt Isis!"

"Thank you baby!" I smiled taking the phone answering it, "Yes my darling?"

'How is everything going?'

I sighed smiling, "Everything is fine were settling in!"

'That's good!' Isis sighed knowing that she had promise me she would not push, 'I know I promise I would not but Lucia-,'

I rolled my eyes, "Isis do we really have too-," a knock came to the door, "Do this now?" I asked walking to the door.

'Lucía, Lucía I promise you that-,'

Holding the phone to my ear placing my hand on the door unlocking it opening the door, "Isis I assure you that Juana and I are-," the phone fell from my ear to the floor I gulped and most likely turned white as if I had seen a ghost, "Manuel?"

"Hello-," I felt my heart skip a beat as did his I could feel it staring at each other, "Lucía!" Manuel looked them same as when I last saw him not even realizing that my cell phone was upon the floor still on an active call. I felt myself ready to faint as I began to feel light headed thinking I was dreaming yet knowing I wasn't just seeing him there made me go weak at the knees.

'Lucía -,' Isis yelled through the telephone afraid something had happened, 'Lucía oh god!'

I gulped bending down to pick up the phone placing it to my ear, "Isis-,"

'Oh thank god you're all right!' Isis let out a sigh of relief, 'Darling whats going on?'

I giggled smiling, "Isis I gotta call you back!" I could hear the hesitation within her voice but she agreed and I ended the phone call directing my attention back to the matter at hand, Manuel. I studied this man in front of me who a part of my so desperately wanted to just take within his arms and never let me go. Crossing my arms looking at him deeply, "You bastard-," holding my emotion in before I lost it slapping him across the cheek making sure I was not going crazy, "Your dead-," I spoke freaking out that he was real not hearing Juana run up the steps, "Officer Cortez opened the body bag I saw you!"

"Mummy are you down talking to Isis yet?" Juana asked me but stopped seeing I was talking to someone. She looked at Manuel for a moment studying him and he her, "Daddy?" Juana questioned knowing Manuel's face as well as I did.

Manuel smiled looking at me, "You told her about me?" he questioned looking at me putting his cigarette to his mouth. I laughed smiling at Manuel not knowing what to say to him.

"Juana is a part of you -," I spoke telling him the truth, "I was not going to hide her from you even in your state!"

Manuel taking a puff of his cigarette, "You named her Juana too?" I smiled shaking my head taking his free hand pulling him into the apartment bringing him into my embrace, "Proper name for such a beautiful young woman!"

"Juana baby go back up stair I'll be right up!" I called as I heard Juana head back to the bedroom leaving me and Manuel here alone like old times, "Do you have a problem with me?" I asked smiling seeing his blue eyes, the ones I missed so much.

Manuel sighed taking the last puff from his cigarette, "I missed you Lucía!" I smiled again nodding as if to tell him I had too, "I see you have not changed the place much," letting himself in within out asking me though after all it was his apartment sitting on the sofa.

"Your land lord gave me a year-," I spoke closing the door leaning on the pillar which divide the door way and the living room, "I figured I would come down here before the wedding and clean it out!"

Manuel looked at me oddly rising, "Wedding?" I nodded seeing that he had not taken note of the gold ring upon my finger. Of all things for Manuel to notice he did not something I did not quite understand, "You're getting married?"

"Yes I am getting married-," I giggled slightly finding it funny how such he was as I lifted my left hand showing him the ring. From his mouth flew 'Good God' as I giggled again, "I know it is rather large I told Anderson it did not have to be that extravagant but I can come to love it!"

Manuel laughed looking into my eyes, lord why did I long for him? For his touch to want to be passionate with him as if nothing ever happened! Erase ever meeting my sweet Nathanial and just be Lucía the orphan sleeping with an older man again, "You do not love him do you?" I pulled my hand away from him realizing I had become too conformable within his embrace, "Lucía!"

"Do not Lucía me-," I yelled crossing my arms again as pieces of my well put up hair fell down, "You pretended to be dead remember not me and as I recall I was the one that was left pregnant!" at that moment I did not realize how fuming I was with every pent up piece of rage I had for him, "I am still so fucking pissed at you it is not even funny!" I sighed sitting upon the sofa gulping the rest of my wine then lighting a cigarette.

Manuel laughed shaking his head sitting beside me, "Smoking-," he chuckled taking a step forward, "Taking up old habits?"

"From all those second hands," I spoke with my head within my hands, "It helps when I am flustered!" Manuel nodded giving that look, the one that would make me go weak at the knees. He watched me, watched me take three puffs of my cigarette even breathe. It made my blood boil that he could just fall of the face of the earth and not even once think about his child….or me, "Why?" I asked looking at him with so much angrier built up, "Of all times why now?"

Manuel sighed moving from his seat to be beside me. He gave me that warm smiled I so longed to see again as he placed two pieces of my fallen hair behind me right ear, "I thought about you every day-," a sigh came from him as I watched his motions the way his stomach went up and down, "Close your eyes and I will tell you," I looked at him as if to say really but turned my head away from him and closed my eyes.

All right I heard him say as my mind so used to his story telling went back to that day. That day I thought like many that I had seen Manuel Denia for the last time. Manuel found her standing outside looking at the old tree which was dying. He gulped looking at his Aunt who has lyed to him his whole life, "Were you ever going to tell me?" Manuel asked holding the manuscripts within his arms, "Or just lie to me some more?" Águeda looked sadly upon her son whom yes she had lied to for so long and to herself as well. The smock was becoming unbearable as she sighed.

"Manuel what I did was not very fair to you or Aurora-," she sighed trying to make him understand it was a different time then, "But son I did it out of love for you and that child Lucía now cares!" Águeda exclaimed gulping watching Manuel shake his head.

Manuel closed his eyes for a moment then opened them to look at her, "Leave Lucía out of this do you hear me Águeda!" he spoke grabbing her hand leading her out the back way to the front, "We'll talk about this-,"

"No!" Águeda yelled snatching her arm away from his grasp, "I have lived long enough within all of these lies my boy-," she sighed kissing his sweet angry face, "You love her Manuelito it is time for you to come to terms with that!" smiling looking at him with sad eyes, "Love that child as I loved you!" Águeda spoke walking back into the house.

Manuel gulped watching her do with leaving him within questions he knew the answer too, "Águeda-," he yelled after her but with no reply, "Águeda-," calling again and still no reply, "Damn me!" Manuel spoke dropping the manuscripts running in after her finding her lying upon the floor, "Águeda-," Manuel called kneeling down trying to wake her up, "Mom!" he spoke as a tears poured down his face.

"She is only sleeping Manuelito-," Manuel jumped seeing the male figure before him, "Do not be alarmed for you know me!" Manuel gulped looking at the man strangely, "I believe you have something of mine,"

Manuel looked upon oddly on him again, "I am sorry sir but I have nothing of yours!" he spoke seeing the man's expression change, "If you're here for the manuscripts take them just let me take my mother away!" he spoke bending down picking up Águeda.

"Ho their son not so fast-," The man spoke looking at Manuel and Águeda as parts of the ceiling and walls began to fall, "Lucía is what I want!"

Manuel was shock, "Lucía?" he gulped looking at the strange man, "What do you want with my Lucía?"

"Lucía -," The man chuckled smiling at Manuel devilishly; "She holds the line of Juana la loca within her!"

Manuel shook his head, "I am sorry sir but-," a cough took over his speech, "Lucía is a American there is no way she holds Juana's blood line within her veins I promise you!"

"You promise me-," The man spoke coming closer to Manuel, "I had her parents killed because of it I planned this," the fire department alarms began to sound throughout the house, "Damn!"

Manuel smiled, "Lucía -," then looking back at the man, "You did this you orphaned a young woman because of you obsession with a dead woman?"

"I see neither of us are that different," The man spoke looking at Manuel so intently, "We both have an obsession over a dead woman and mask that pain with a real woman-," he laughed shaking his head at Manuel, "I left your mother for this exact reason boy the Denias blood line is corrupt and now I have to clean up another pass because of a Denias becoming friendly with one of Ferdinand's great grandchildren!" Manuel gulped unsure what this man way going to do next which shocked him a little, "Because of your little girlfriend calling the fire department I will have to do this fast!" placing his hand within his packet as what was left of the house began to lock itself, "You are of no use to me-," He smiled removing a pistil from his left pocket, "Goodbye my son!" Manuel gulped as the gun fired landing in his shoulder trying to keep his balance. The man kneeled down beside Manuel's right ear and whispered, "And Manuel do not worry about your precious Lucía -," he chuckled with a smiled, "She is mine!" laughing as he grabbing Águeda's legs dragging her out.

I tried to find some sort of strength within me but I found none. My eyes went dark but could hear the fireman standing over me, "I have a body!" the fireman yelled to his partner.

"Is he alive?" The partner asked as the other shrugged; "I cannot tell his leg his stuck come give me a hand!" the partner spoke as the other firemen help him take one of the ceiling panels off Manuel's leg, "Let's get him into a bag!" The partner nodded placing in within a black body bag along with another body they found within what was left of the old home.

I gulped running over to the man with the body bags unzipping the bag covering my mouth, "Manuel-,"

"You know this man?" The police officer asked me but a still came over in a state of shock, "Madame do you know this man?"

A node answering his questioned turning my head, "Manuel -," shaking a deep breath continuing, "His name is Manuel Denia,"

"Thank you!" The police man sighed walking away a few moments later arriving at the local morgue. I really did not know what to think Manuel told me as he continued with his side. I had no idea what to do because I was clouded with thought of you what that man was going to do. An when I opened my eyes finding myself in that body bag I flipped out unzipping the bag finding every possible way to get out. I finally unzipped the bag I jumped out of the ambulance running as far as possible. I managed to make my way to…

I gulped rather scared and upset with myself for just leaving the way I did, "Where did you go?" I asked opening my eyes crying, "You could not have come to me I would have protected you!" a part of me truly wanted him to console me. I had so many emotions within me I had no idea what to do with, "I would have taken you to New York with me and never even thought twice when I met Anderson!"

"It was and still is not that easy," Manuel began as I rose shaking my head, "I wanted to see you," I turned looking at him as he rose placing both his hands on my elbows, "Believe I did it just was not the right time!"

I laughed rolling my eyes, "An now is?" questioning looking into his blue eyes, "A month before I am suppost to married!"

"What else am I going to do Lucía get down on my hands and knees?" Manuel asked as I smiled giving a slit laugh which he laughed back at, "Lucía-," he sighed moving his hands from my elbows to my cheeks.

I smiled rapping my arms around his waist, "It is a start-," not realizing we both were leaning in as a knock came at the door and a blonde man entered. I pulled away from Manuel as fast as I could while Anderson was looking at his blackberry.

"Lucía darling my conference ended early I was wondering if you and my angel would like some oh-," The blonde journalist spoke looking up from his blackberry stopping in his tracks seeing that I had company, "Sorry my love I did not know you had company!"

I laughed walking over kissing my sweet fiancé, "Andy this is Juana's father Manuel Denia!" Anderson and Manuel studied each other's profile seeing both had blonde hair with similar looking eyes they must have thought that was something I was attracted too, "Manuel this is my fiancé Anderson Vanderbilt!"

Nice too meet you they both smiled shaking each other's hand I could feel Anderson feeling threated by Manuel's presence. An energy came from him that just contended jealousy as if he knew something was till between Manuel and me without even ever truly knowing our past, "So this is your apartment I suppose?" I heard the tone in his voice and I was right smiling at Anderson taking his hand showing Anderson as well as Manuel that we weren't playing.

"Yes it is-," Manuel choosing his words wisely, "I left on a sabbatical if you will with my mother so in doing so I gave Lucía here the apartment,"

Anderson nodded believing what came out of Manuel's mouth which actually shocked me, "May I asked were you went on this sabbatical that made you need to leave her pregnant alone?"

"I assure you that was not my intention," Manuel began taking a seat back on the couch motion for us to sit, "It was very hard for me when Lucía and I found out she was pregnant because I just found out that the woman that was portraying herself as my Aunt was really in fact my mother so at that moment I was not sure what was real and what was fantasy," Manuel's words brought that feeling upon me again, that feeling of nervous guilt, "I know now leaving her was the worst thing I could have ever done!"

I felt the tear falling upon my cheek which I whipped away quickly, "Well that is all in the past," I spoke rising with Anderson following, "If you will excuse us Andy and I have a few things we have to do!" gulping turning away from Manuel to fetch me child of all things why now?

"I suppose since I am marrying the mother of your child we might as well be friends," Anderson smiled holding out his hand for Manuel to shake which he did after a moment of consideration against it, "I don't know what I would do without Lucía!"

Manuel was about to say something when I came with Juana re-entering the living with Juana within my arms. She smiled seeing Anderson, "Dad!" she smiled wanting to go to him which I let her. Juana was so cute climbing into Andy's arms holding him close. Manuel walked use to the door a few mintues later I motioned Andy to go on that I had a few things to talk with Manuel about and I would be at the car shortly, "By Daddy!" Juana spoke waving bye to Manuel who waved back.

"I'm free at eleven tomorrow," I smiled as Manuel looked at me, "We can disguise what we are going to do about Juana and that dress!" Manuel smirked I shook my head as I sighed, "See you!"


	4. Chapter Three

"Go Lucía, run," Manuel called, absurdly calm and determined, "Go I'm going to find Águeda. I can't leave her in here. I'll see if I can have the manuscripts!" Manuel pushing me, shoving me to leave toward the backdoor.

I shook my head, "No-," I spoke shaking grabbing his hand afraid of losing him, "Manuel come with me!" Manuel gulped pulling my close sighing as he kissed me, "Come with me!"

"I will be right there now go-," Manuel kissed me one last time before shoving me out the door, "Run Lucía!"

My eyes flew open tears running down my face within my cold sweat, "Manuel-," I screamed as I shut up from the hotel room bed like something had just pinched me, "Manuel!" screaming at the top of my lungs my left hand flew to my mouth freezing cold but stopping realizing it was only a dream.

"Madam Lucía-," The maid spoke standing within the door way disquiet afraid that something happened to me, "Is everything all right?" she asked seeing me in my state of disarray, "I heard you screaming from the kitchen!"

I nodded sitting up placing my left hand over the bridge of my nose, "I'm-I'm fine Maria really I am I just had a nightmare is all!" taking a deep breath looking up at her, "You know from the jet lag and the wedding planning I just got a little jumpy!"

She uhummed me walking sitting beside me on the bed, "Lucía darling you are the one woman Señor Vanderbilt has brought home that has not used me like an illegal servant that must obey to her every whim or else I'll get turned over to the police," Maria sighed smiling as she took my hand, "This is what I love about you regardless of who Juana's father is besides at your age only being eighteen with a beautiful one year old daughter that is about to be two and your engaged to a Vanderbilt -," Maria laughed slapping my hand lightly leaning closer to me as to tell me a secret, "I would be extremely proud if you were my daughter!"

"You would really be proud of me?" I asked seeing the look on her face as I grabbed my teardrop pendent around my neck with the amethyst diamond in the center.

Maria nodded as if to say that was a crazy question to ask, "Darling Lucía of course I would be proud of you lord your own grandparents even Señor Vanderbilt's are proud of you for this match-," yet something stopped her from finishing her thought as she reached into her packet pulling out a folded letter, "Señor Vanderbilt bid me give this morning I told him I would when you awake and I believe his said something about Juana was spending tomorrow and the weekend with Erik and Angelina so stay in bed as long as you like I pressed your pants this morning as well," Maria smiled rising walking to the door yet turned around looking at me, "I am so over joyed that such a wonderful woman like you is marrying Señor Vanderbilt!" Maria sighed again as she left me alone within the white room I once fell in love with.

I never realized what impact I had on Maria Declarantaz until she told me that. Rubbing the amethyst diamond almost forgetting who I was going to meet today I jumped from the bed running over to my closet pulling out a green tee shirt and a white undershirt. I sighed walking over to my vanity pulling out a bra, I never really hated them until my 36C went to a 42C even after having Juana yet I know a proper woman should wear one which is why I do. The bra was black laced and snapped in the front something I had newly took a lucking too having come into all of this money I can now afford things as such. Putting the white undershirt and slipped on my jeans after putting on deodorant because for some reason now whenever Manuel dugs his way into my subconscious I began to sweat vigorously making me feel a wanting for him I oh so desperately did not need to feel.

Shaking my head trying to remove him from my thoughts a little while longer walking make to my vanity applying my make-up then making sure everything was in the right order I pulled out my perfume spraying it twice congratulating myself at the nice job I had done. I smiled brushing my hair as I slipped on my black boots seeing Maria in the kitchen looking at me walking in kissing her cheek, "I will be back shortly I promise," I spoke putting my arms through my long coat opening the door yet I looked back, "If not call a search party!" Maria's laughed filled the hallway as I closed the door.

Maria was such a nice Spanish woman I assumed she must have been in her late forty's maybe fifties and I knew she must have been married because she talks about a man named Eduardo all the time. Though I really stopped thinking about what her personal life was after Anderson and I began our relationship. It was different than the one I shared with Manuel; it didn't start out of seduction or a story but a pregnant woman in need of a taxi outside of a library. To this day I have no earthly clue what it was that drawled us together whether it was Juana or the fact that both of us wanted to know our stories.

I remember that first day we spent together under the golden New York sun, it was spring and I was just about to have Juana when he invited me over for a journalist talk which in fact was a talk hell that's all did was talk. Of course he asked me about Manuel and what my reasons for leaving him vice versa or even what I was going to name the child-I said Juana. At that time I actually somehow knew it was a girl when I told Andy that he just could not stop smiling about three days after that I had Juana and since then Andy has never let Juana out of his sight.

Taking a deep breath as I leave my memorizes to knock on the apartment door I would visit every Sunday to hear the story of Juana of Castile feeling oddly comfortable again laughing at myself as I knock on the door. A few moments later Manuel opened the door dressed in sweat pants and a tee shirt, "So you came," he smiled letting me in I nodded walking into the apartment shutting the door behind me.

"Of course I did I gave you my word," I smiled placing my purse on the couch taking off my coat, "So about-," scratching my head as my eyes caught Manuel looking me up and down, "Excuse you," I raised my voice getting his attention, "I am not for sale anymore so please just stop staring you forget I am only over here because we share a daughter and a red velvet dress!"

Manuel smirked nodding looking over at the red velvet dress which still lyed where we left it, "There is no other reason why you look so nice then?" he asked coming closer to me, "And smell ever so good?" I gulped as he took my hand within his warm hand, lord did I miss him.

"Manuel why are you making this so hard for me?" I asked keeping my hand within his not pulling away though I was tempted too, "I am trying to be a good mother and wife here but all you want to do is have fucking sex!" my voice rose at him which rather startled him it was like Manuel awoke out of his fantasy, "If you continue I will not be able to say no so please I beg you be an adult!"

Manuel nodded letting go of my hand motioning me to sit down, "Your right we both need to be adults about this-," he sighed I watched him breath every move he made within that seat. An urge began a flame within me desperately yelling at me to feel him, to kiss him, "What did you have in mind?" he asked my breathing began to get heavy again I could see it taking its toll.

"Jesus Christ," I spoke rising from my spot on the couch walking over to Manuel sitting on his lap leaning into kiss him. Realizing what I was doing I jumped standing, "What the hell am I doing?" I asked myself shaking my head.

Manuel chuckled rubbing my back, "What are you doing Lucía?" he asked be concerned as well as laughing at me for throwing myself at him.

"I liked it better when I thought you were dead!" I yelled removing his hand from me looking in straight in the face, "None of this would have happened if you just went with me when I told you too!" sighing rubbing the bridge of my nose, "We could have actually been together!"

Manuel gulped as if he was unsure what to say back to me, "Lucía-," placing his hand upon my shoulder, "I am truly sorry!" I sighed shaking my head as I looked at him wide eyes about to cry.

"I never wanted you like this," I sighed again trying to make my point, "I never used to have this constant craving to be with you hell feel you within in me!" shrugging biting my bottom lip, "And suddenly I have this almost desperate desire to-,"

Manuel sitting my down upon the couch again, "To what Lucía?" asking me the most important question I had no even given any thought too. I gulped looking into those blue eyes not even thinking as I leaned in and kissed them with everything I had. My hands began to wonder down his back because at this point I really do not think I really cared for all I wanted was to feel him again as I removed his shirt. His chest looked different to me which was odd for me until I came across a white pad that lyed on his right shoulder. Be my general curious self I took the tap and bent in back a little to see what was underneath.

"Manuel-," I gasped pulling the rest of it off touching it lightly which hurt him I think because of the way he pulled back shaking my head walking down to the bedroom grabbing the first aid coming back sitting beside him opening the bottle of alcohol taking one of the white first aid square towels wetting it with the alcohol then placing it gently in the wound, "It needs a better dressing-," I told him asking myself how in the world I remember this because I haven't been a girl scout since I was eight, "This may sting a little," Manuel's nerve gushed a little from the burning of the alcohol making me laugh watching him get worked up.

Manuel smiled seeing that I was trying to do a good deed something he admired me for, "Since when are you the master of first aid?" he asked, I looked up meeting his blue eyes smiling at him taking my hand off the wound.

"I was a girl scout," I sighed licking my bottom lip watching him laugh something I truly missed hearing. All that time away this was the one thing I missed were the intimate moments between us, "It is a shocker believe me coming from the person who hates nature with a passion being a girl scout was something very useful in my life other than that I would not have gone!"

Manuel smiled taking my hand within his, "It is not such a foreign thought-," I laughed licking my lips placing the white pad I was using on the coffee table knowing what was coming, "What made you stop?"

"I was fifteen I had everything figured out," I told him laughing at myself for being such a fool even now, "I was going to be a cardiothoracic surgeon had the grades the GPA even to get into any college I wanted across the states," laughing again fixing another band aide when I stopped, "I told him not to-," looking up at him as a flood began down my beautiful cheeks, "Even said that if he did I would never speak to him again but do big brothers ever listen to his little sister?"

Manuel sighed whipping the tears from my eyes also taking a white cloth from the first aide to whip some of the mascara off my face, "I used to be so adventures Manuel doing strange incredible things only listening when it was a dyer need but Jet's driving had always been a little too much!"

Smiling lightly taking my hand within his at a loss but still trying his best, "Jet had gotten into an argument with dad over that damn woman!" I stopped sighing feeling all of the hate and anger I had toward Jet was never let out for the reason that I never wanted to acknowledge or admit that I was still pissed at my brother, "Jet become curious taking his hunch a step further and through that curiousness found out about dads mistress telling me before he went on his tangent you have no idea how hard I tried to talk him out of it but of course big brothers do not ever in their whole lives listen to their little sister!"

Manuel lifting my chin smiling, "What happened?" I neither gulped afraid to even continue on the grounds that I had not even spoke nor let anyone even imagine Jet in six years! Why in the hell should I start speaking of the man I still hate so deeply?

"The fight was so bad Jet just could not even look at him so he grabbed his keys took me by the hand and we left," sighing taking a break as every emotion ran through me like a blizzard, "Jet was driving so fast all I could hear was me trying to get him to stop the car and in my efforts I did not know we were in the middle of main street nor did I even see the Peterbuilt coming right toward the driver's side-," shaking my head I took a deep breath crying again, "Jet looked at me with those emerald eyes and smiled telling me I will always love you Lucy I blinked and Jet's head was lying in my lap!"

Manuel pulled me into a hug kissing my head I took a deep breath losing the battle against my tears, "I had no idea that you were so torn up about it," he spoke kissing me sweetly coming out of the hug, "Why did you not tell me before?"

"I was scared-," I began shrugging though a part of me was scared that if I admitted it to myself than my world would fall apart which it did because I did not want to let myself go to that place of fear and pain, "To tell you the truth I did not want to even acknowledge Jets death or my parents even but between this pain I fell in love with you!" I sighed looking at Manuel ready to pour my heart out and oddly it felt good. For the first time ever knowing Manuel I actually let him in deep enough to see those scars, "Manuel I love you so much that I am at the point where I do not even know what to do with you or admit that I ever did because you are the only man that I know that has this power to make me feel so educated so proper or make me feel as if I am a child putting me back in my place!"

I could see him gulp staring at me never truly feeling how I felt smiling biting him bottom lip grabbing my right hand placing a sweet kiss on it, "Were all born to die darling it is part of life!" rolling my eyes proving my point pulling my hand away shocking him a bit, "Lucía!"

"Your right-," I stopped taking a deep breath, "We are born to die!" placing my arms around his neck pulling him into a kiss letting go of him walking over grabbing my purse and coat leaving him alone within the room.


End file.
